Day 16 - November already?

So today was the 16th August, it was grey and cold and raining. I put the heating on and am wearing thermal socks. I think we have weather like this every August and yet ever year we expect it to be different, like proper August where the sun shines and it’s hot. So I decided today was a good day to defrost the freezer, it’s been on the ‘to do’ list for a long time, along with many other permanently put off household jobs. So what I’m saying is, today wasn’t that interesting and I don’t have much to say about it. It was just one of those days.

It was in this mood I approached my journalling today. I started out with something similar to the above and wrote about not knowing what I would fill three pages with. But then I seemed to fill the pages quite easily and could of written more. It was something like a prayer that I wrote, asking for help and guidance with the difficult parts of myself and my life. Also to know and express more fully my authentic self. Strangely today’s Headspace meditation was on the subject of the idea of expressing the authentic self. About how being authentic doesn’t mean just doing or saying whatever you like at the expense of other people. That authenticity should be about a journey within to the self.  I guess it’s about knowing yourself more fully, which sounds simple but is not, as we are a mystery to ourselves in many ways.

After defrosting the freezer and doing two loads of washing (just keeping it real and down to earth) the old ME/cfs was kicking in a bit so it was time for a rest. Which meant painting was done a bit late in the day. To be honest I didn’t feel like doing it at all, I was feeling tired and cold and achy and the sky outside was grey as it poured with rain, it was quite an act of self discipline today to make myself paint. I found myself painting in yellow, something like a giant sun. On the opposite page I painted a mixture of blues and completed it with pale blues. Basically I’d painted bright sunshine and blue sky and sea. I think my subconscious wants me to go to the Mediterranean for a holiday. See image below (the lightning isn’t very good because the light today wasn’t good.)


Comments