I wrote my journal sitting in the garden this morning, only interrupted by a weird looking beetle and a massive orange slug that slide along the wall before deciding to turn back. I started writing not in a very good mood, I didn’t really want to write today, I didn’t really want to do any in-depth thinking about now I was feeling or my life situation. So inevitably once writing, that’s what I addressed. I found myself writing down all the possible negative scenarios I could see coming up in my life in the near future, all of them seemingly realistic. Then I found myself listing possible more positive yet seemingly more unlikely things that could happen instead. Reminding myself that we never really know what the future will look like and things can change unexpectedly and quickly. I thought about what Caroline Myss says about healing can happen in an instant, the problem is that we aren’t ready to accept change that fast. My journalling ended in a sort of a prayer asking to see the positives in my life and to know when I am overlooking my good fortune and denigrating my inherent talents and gifts. I actually wrote the word denigrate and looking it up just now, it was exactly the right word, meaning to unfairly criticise.
I feel I didn’t concentrate as much on my painting today. My sister arrived at around midday so I’ve done a lot a chatting. I moved the painting to outside today so painted in my garden for the first time. Again whilst chatting so I didn’t give it my usual level of attention. I’m still quite happy with what I painted though. On the right side I used blues and turquoise and white loosely spreading it around with the plastic palette knife. Then I needed a little lie down (ME/CFS problems!). The left page I used pink and reds and orange with the large flat brush in a similar pattern to before. One thing that has surprised me is how I have come up with quite different paintings everyday. I must confess that as the days have gone on, I have started to look at the blank page and wonder what if anything I could come up with today. More often I’ve sat there with blank page self doubt. Today’s painting below.
I feel I didn’t concentrate as much on my painting today. My sister arrived at around midday so I’ve done a lot a chatting. I moved the painting to outside today so painted in my garden for the first time. Again whilst chatting so I didn’t give it my usual level of attention. I’m still quite happy with what I painted though. On the right side I used blues and turquoise and white loosely spreading it around with the plastic palette knife. Then I needed a little lie down (ME/CFS problems!). The left page I used pink and reds and orange with the large flat brush in a similar pattern to before. One thing that has surprised me is how I have come up with quite different paintings everyday. I must confess that as the days have gone on, I have started to look at the blank page and wonder what if anything I could come up with today. More often I’ve sat there with blank page self doubt. Today’s painting below.
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