It’s quite late now I’ve finally got around to writing this post, 9pm. It’s not been easy to get done everything for the project today. I woke up late feeling very tired and low energy today, probably I did too much yesterday with attempting gardening. A symptom of chronic fatigue syndrome is post exertional malaise, which means you can feel depleted after exercise and symptoms are worse, this can be straight away, the next day, or even a few days later. It can be very unpredictable to manage. I did write my morning pages after breakfast and sitting in bed, my brain felt quite foggy this morning so as I expected, I didn’t have any great insights, mostly quite mundane stuff. I did realise that the discipline of doing the exercise everyday may be an important part of the process. I also wrote about my dream again as I was running out of ideas. I find at around one and a half pages I start to feel I’m running out of things to say but by the time I complete three pages I feel a sense of achievement.
The painting I did early evening, around 6pm. I wanted to go out to Art in the Park so that’s what I did this afternoon, it was challenging in terms of my energy, there are never enough places to sit down. It was very busy too with a lot of people and I can find situations like that a bit overwhelming especially when my energy is low. However I have still done a lot today, even with lower energy and I am grateful that overall I have improved since I first became ill around four years ago and I am lucky not to be more severely affected. After Art in the Park I had a rest and did my daily meditation, I usually use the Headspace app, I did the painting. I was tired but feeling quite calm so I tackled it with a gentler energy than yesterday. I decided I wanted to use all the different shades of blue plus black and white. I sort of had a vision in my head of pale blues merging like the sky, which is not at all like what I painted. It’s funny how an idea doesn’t come out of the head and onto the page in the same way. Again I had a sense of accomplishment and achievement at completing the painting today as there was a real possibility it wasn’t going to get done. Images below.
The painting I did early evening, around 6pm. I wanted to go out to Art in the Park so that’s what I did this afternoon, it was challenging in terms of my energy, there are never enough places to sit down. It was very busy too with a lot of people and I can find situations like that a bit overwhelming especially when my energy is low. However I have still done a lot today, even with lower energy and I am grateful that overall I have improved since I first became ill around four years ago and I am lucky not to be more severely affected. After Art in the Park I had a rest and did my daily meditation, I usually use the Headspace app, I did the painting. I was tired but feeling quite calm so I tackled it with a gentler energy than yesterday. I decided I wanted to use all the different shades of blue plus black and white. I sort of had a vision in my head of pale blues merging like the sky, which is not at all like what I painted. It’s funny how an idea doesn’t come out of the head and onto the page in the same way. Again I had a sense of accomplishment and achievement at completing the painting today as there was a real possibility it wasn’t going to get done. Images below.
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