Today it mostly rained 🌧, some drizzly rain and some serious rain. Yes I am British and I talk about weather. It’s very changeable so there’s always something to say about it. Good small talk. So as I was saying, in the tradition of all good holidays in England, today it mostly rained. I’m rambling now, as usual I’m pretty tired. I think this post may have an air of delirium about it. So what am I saying? I wrote my ‘morning pages’ at around 4pm sitting in my bed after doing my Headspace meditation and resting for a while. I went out for tea and cake in Wedmore, which is an extremely pretty and genteel village in Somerset, I also managed a fairly long walk (for me) around it. I ate my sandwiches in the car on the way home. As my diet is gluten free, egg free, mostly dairy free and low refined sugar, things can get a bit difficult when looking for something to eat when out and about so I tend to take food options. Also I don’t do well on low blood sugar, I get hangry. So after all of that I needed a rest. Hence morning pages were done really late. Why didn’t I write them in the morning before I went out? More a question of energy and prioritising getting ready to go out.
Anyway I found myself writing about happiness and the search for it. When I was out I heard someone on the radio talking about happiness saying we are all fed the lie of when we have achieved things in life and become successful, then we’ll be happy, but people get there and realise they aren’t. But that it’s a useful lie for society because it drives people to be productive. I don’t know where the discussion went from there. But it got me thinking about the other ways we might try and pursue happiness, perhaps through spirituality or creativity, or seeking to know oneself more deeply. Maybe having a greater sense of purpose or a belief about why we are here (as in alive living on earth). Possibly a greater sense of groundedness, or an inner sense of knowing everything is going to be alright or it’s all as it should be. Are any of these pursuits of happiness and less fleeting than the pursuit of material success or other ‘real world’ achievements? At around this point my brain was like, this is too many questions, can you stop now please.
Today’s painting session took place in the utility room again, it’s very small but has a velux window so the lighting is pretty good. I also found I was standing to paint quite a lot, this seems to give the painting process a different energy and approach. Although it’s also more tiring for me (ME/cfs problems). I found myself mixing colours more today, I’ve always enjoyed that part of the painting process and it was nice to mix up some colours with a bit more nuance and interest. I worked more on both pages together today rather than one side and then the other. What I’ve painted today is quite different from the other days, more detail, more colours. See image below.
Anyway I found myself writing about happiness and the search for it. When I was out I heard someone on the radio talking about happiness saying we are all fed the lie of when we have achieved things in life and become successful, then we’ll be happy, but people get there and realise they aren’t. But that it’s a useful lie for society because it drives people to be productive. I don’t know where the discussion went from there. But it got me thinking about the other ways we might try and pursue happiness, perhaps through spirituality or creativity, or seeking to know oneself more deeply. Maybe having a greater sense of purpose or a belief about why we are here (as in alive living on earth). Possibly a greater sense of groundedness, or an inner sense of knowing everything is going to be alright or it’s all as it should be. Are any of these pursuits of happiness and less fleeting than the pursuit of material success or other ‘real world’ achievements? At around this point my brain was like, this is too many questions, can you stop now please.
Today’s painting session took place in the utility room again, it’s very small but has a velux window so the lighting is pretty good. I also found I was standing to paint quite a lot, this seems to give the painting process a different energy and approach. Although it’s also more tiring for me (ME/cfs problems). I found myself mixing colours more today, I’ve always enjoyed that part of the painting process and it was nice to mix up some colours with a bit more nuance and interest. I worked more on both pages together today rather than one side and then the other. What I’ve painted today is quite different from the other days, more detail, more colours. See image below.
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