I don’t feel I have much to say about today. I wrote my morning pages mid afternoon. I had an opticians appointment at midday for a contact lens checkup, I have to go else they stop sending the lenses. I was feeling quite low energy as well, I was doing my very slow awkward walking through town. That’s another symptom of ME/cfs, sometimes I walk like a ‘normal’ person, other times the same walk or distance is like climbing a mountain or a super human challenge. I also attempted to buy some more white acrylic paint, the shop had sold out! So when I got home I had a rest, then some late lunch, then I sat outside to write my three pages. I mostly wrote about my day and some observations, a bit about my thoughts and anxieties about going back to work in September (I work term time so I’m currently on holiday from work), and some thoughts about a reoccurring figure in my dreams.
For my painting today I used all of the shades of green in my paint box and then added in some yellows. On the right side I applied thick paint with a palette knife (plastic type) and on the left I used the colour left on the palette with water and a flat brush. I suppose it’s difficult not to think of nature and trees when using greens and I think that’s the feeling the paintings have today.
So today’s post is pretty mundane, it’s about fitting in the tasks of the project around other things, and energy lows. I think that’s part of the challenge though, to keep going and try to grow through the process. My nutritionist Lucy, has been working to help me with both nutrition and some life coaching, has asked me to think about my ‘growth edges’. These are the places where we can challenge ourselves to grow, expand our horizons a little, in a way that is helpful not terrifying, although some growth will inevitably be more challenging or anxiety inducing than others. This project is one of my growth edges as it sharing it in this way. I haven’t told her yet but I also signed up for an online course in Crystal Therapy in a move that was both rash and spontaneous and triggered but an advert on Facebook!
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